Dialogue?

Jul 13, 2023 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

This is the story of two people who meet by chance on an airplane during a snowstorm a few days before Christmas and a relationship develops. The man’s mother tries many ways to thwart the process, and a mysterious woman wearing a magical scarf plays a role in the future of these two.

I have self-published a new novel, A Few Bumps, and I submitted it to several places for reviews. I only want to receive honest reviews, and I can take constructive criticism; if someone has suggestions from which I can learn to improve my writing, I’m all ears.

However, today, I received the weirdest message from one of the places I sent the book for consideration. The site said they had rejected my book for review purposes because the dialogue seemed strange, because the characters, who are people in their twenties, call their parents “Mother” and “Daddy.” The reviewer said that this is the way toddler refer to their parents, not twenty-somethings. Additionally, the reviewer said that siblings do not refer to each other as “big brother” or “little sister,” but rather should be calling each other by name.

I’m sorry–I know people, including my own husband, who called his parents Mother and Daddy (and my own adult kids, who are in their forties, still call me Mom) until their natural deaths. I hear siblings refer to each other as “big brother” to tease one another all the time.

Another criticism was that one line of dialogue said, “Come on, Thomas and Chris! We’re going out to play!” It referred to playing in snow after a big blizzard. It was meant to be playful; this reviewer thought that line was more like something that a toddler would say.

The reviewer said that this book should be re-edited, and they, of course, offered people from their own group of editors to edit it. Little did they know that someone from their list of professional editors DID edit it.

I am not crying of spilled milk here. However, read and review the book and give me something REAL, something significant, that I can work on to improve my writing here or in future works.

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